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I have just started dating a new man, he is 16 years older than me (I am 24, he is 40). I met him online, and never considered dating someone that muc... Dating a man 16 years older than me.
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I have just started dating a new man, he is 16 years older than me (I am 24, he is 40). I met him online, and never considered dating someone that much older than me, but I thought I'd give it a go and it turns out we are getting on really well! It is very early days as we've only been dating almost a month, but we get on really well, I feel comfortable around him already, he is very courteous and attentive. We have been on lots of socially distanced walks (we see each other every few days) and can spend hours talking without getting bored or having awkward silences. We've had some flirty banter, not slept together yet, but some of my friends have mentioned he is probably only interested in sex with a younger woman! However, I don't feel pressured into sex like I have with other men. He has 2 teenage sons and I've got a child at primary school. I mentioned wanting more children one day (I didn't see the point in wasting either of our time if he wasn't interested), and he said he would have more children one day as long as his children weren't adults by that point. He's said he is looking for a long-term relationship. I am worried about the age gap, it's not something I've experienced or any of my friends/close circle have experience with. Has anybody had this kind of age gap/situation and it's gone on to be a successful relationship? OP posts: See next See all. bonfireheart · 12/03/2021 17:23. If he's nice (which is so rare) take it slow, enjoy and tbh only you know the relationship and what works for you. LunaNorth · 12/03/2021 17:25. My husband is 16 years older than me. I wish I’d met him when I was 24. HollowTalk · 12/03/2021 17:27. It's a massive age gap. He was in sixth form when you were born! You really have the best years of your life ahead of you and have plenty of time to meet someone who would be a much better match. Newfor2021 · 12/03/2021 17:31. My sons father is 14 years older. it never really affected us when we were together. However another guy was 9 years older and it felt like 90 years older! I honestly think it’s down to the people a d how much emphasis they put in it, plus how similar their outlook on life is, their hobbies, free time etc. If you’ve managed to find a good un on Tinder. Keep hold of him! Givemeabreak88 · 12/03/2021 17:32. I wouldn’t not at 24 no way. RonaLisa · 12/03/2021 17:33. I wouldn't say 16 years was a particularly big gap. If he's nice, and if you have lots in common, I really wouldn't give it any thought. Spodge · 12/03/2021 17:36. We have a similar gap. It was fine when we were roughly your ages but as we have got older the gap has become much more noticeable. He is in his sixties now and has turned into a grumpy old fart who can't perform in bed. I know that sounds really mean. Actually we love each other and have been married for decades. But the compromises we both have to make have increased with each passing decade. And the whole dynamic has changed. He used to be the more dominant one, who would deal with domestic problems and was generally in charge. Now it's the other way round. It works, but there was quite a bumpy adjustment period as we each slotted into our new ways of being. Whattodotho · 12/03/2021 17:39. My sister got with an older guy when she was 27 she's now 46 and he is 72 and he's had cancer which might have come back. She had two kids through ivf which was hard time for her but worked out in end and seems happy now but I can't help feel like she wasted years of her youth and she will have to look after him now as he gets into old age. I think 16 years isn't too big but this all depends on how he acts his mentality. Could work out or you might waste your best years. Maybe just enjoy it and not think too long term ? Sundance2741 · 12/03/2021 18:26. I wouldn't have done it at your age but a friend of mine met her future husband around that age and he is 11 years older. The rest of us felt he was uncomfortable with us and he often didn't join in socially but they're still married over 30 years later with two grown up children. The age gap is no longer obvious as he is a fit 70 something. He also retired early and looked after their kids for years so my friend could go back to full time work. PicsInRed · 12/03/2021 18:31. He could be lovely, or he could have targeted a younger woman as 40 year old women with the same life experience would run a mile from him. Keep a very close eye out for which one it is, leave if there are red flags. Don't get pregnant any time soon - it sounds like he's trying to fast forward that with the only if teens haven't become adults" comment. Bigpaintinglittlepainting · 12/03/2021 18:35. Nooooooooooo don’t do it!! Honestly he’s only going to go downhill from here, get grumpy, miserable and make you old before your time. If it was 6 years, 8 years difference it would be so much easier.
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