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I'm not Jewish - Can I use JDate? August 5, 2010 9:51 AM Subscribe. Late 20s female.
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I've tried various other dating sites with some successes and figured JDate could be worth a try, especially
I'm not Jewish - Can I use JDate? August 5, 2010 9:51 AM Subscribe. Late 20s female. I've tried various other dating sites with some successes and figured JDate could be worth a try, especially given the wonderful couples I've seen made in my social circle. I know OKCupid is a big MeFi favorite, and it's fine, but the signal to noise ratio is almost unbearable. From my casual perusal, JDate looks to have a more mature crowd (just by profiles and pictures), which is what I'm looking for. I'm really worried about the propriety of doing this and don't know how common, if at all, it is to use the site if you're not Jewish. Help, please! I've no idea about J-Date specifically, but I would have thought if you put I'm not, nor do I aspire to become, Jewish" in your profile, that would cover your bases. So long as your not leading anyone on, what's the harm? posted by modernnomad at 9:53 AM on August 5, 2010. Well, some people--maybe many people-- will be pissed, others won't be. Date the ones who aren't. (I'm not a user of JDate, but this just seems like a common-sense inference.) posted by darth_tedious at 9:55 AM on August 5, 2010 [1 favorite] I would be pissed if you didn't say in your profile that you're not Jewish. As long as you say it, you're fine. posted by amro at 9:58 AM on August 5, 2010. Among the options for "religious background" that you can select on JDate is "Not willing to convert". You may not get as many matches as your Jewish friends but if they have set up the site to accommodate people like you--which they clearly have--and if you are straightforward about your position in your profile then I don't see what the problem is. posted by phoenixy at 9:58 AM on August 5, 2010. I have successfully used J-Date and I'm not Jewish. You fill out the religious preference part and the folks for whom it matters won't contact you. But plenty will! posted by thinkpiece at 10:00 AM on August 5, 2010. From my friend, an experienced and successful JDater (and Jew): "Well, people join jdate because they are looking for jewish people to date. I once went out with someone, who disclosed very late in the date that he wasn't Jewish, and I felt deceived. if there is a specific reason the person wants to date jewish people (lots of jewish friends, grew up in jewish area, feels comfortable with jews) then it's ok." [me: What if s/he puts it in the profile?] "well, people on there wont really talk to you if you have it there, so usually non jews leave it blank. but it depends on the person." "problem is, lots of girls want to date jewish guys cuz they tend to be wealthier. so it looks bad. and guys sometimes think jewish girls are cute, but dont intend to be with the person long term." "also, seems like asking for long term problems since religion is a big reason people join jdate, so it's probably somewhat important to them in the long run." posted by k8t at 10:10 AM on August 5, 2010 [2 favorites] Via IM, a Jewish friend who uses JDate (a woman who is Jewish) said that she would certainly date someone from there who put in their profile that they were not. So YMMV. posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:17 AM on August 5, 2010 [1 favorite] If you want to avoid immature folks on OKCupid, just put a long "this is not what I'm looking for, so if you are like this, don't even bother" paragraph at the beginning of your profile. The people who are looking for "casual" stuff won't bother you (or will be scared off), and the folks who are looking for serious relationships will appreciate it. Worked like a charm for me. I wouldn't use JDate because I am not Jewish. I would feel like I am deceiving people, but it really is up to the individual. You'll get a lot of folks who say it's no problem and a lot of folks who say you shouldn't do it. posted by your mom's a sock puppet at 10:28 AM on August 5, 2010. Also, as a Jewish friend just mentioned, it is important that the mother/wife/lady spouse is Jewish in order for the children to be Jewish. That is clearly a cultural/religious thing, and I am not an expert on that at all. That might not be important for a lot of men, but it will probably be important for a lot of them, especially if they are on JDate. posted by your mom's a sock puppet at 10:35 AM on August 5, 2010. Can you use JDate? Sure. Should you? Probably not. I can't help suspecting that guys on JDate would be more likely to meet you to try and get laid rather than seek you out as a potential girlfriend/relationship. Think about it from their point of view: if they're on JDate to date Jewish women, and you're not Jewish and don't aspire to become Jewish, then what's the point for them? If all you want is to get laid, I bet it'll work. If you want anything more than that, I think you're setting yourself up for failure. People are on JDate because they want to date those who share their religion and culture. You're not. You don't. posted by 2oh1 at 11:09 AM on August 5, 2010 [9 favorites] I would assume that a non-Jew using JDate is generally okay with marrying a Jew and living in a Jewish household and having Jewish kids, whether or not they intend to convert. If not, then it's a bit weird. If so, just write in your profile that you're not Jewish, and ignore all the weird stereotyping in this thread. Sure, some people won't be willing to date you, but they're no more unwilling than they would have been had you not signed up. posted by jeather at 11:11 AM on August 5, 2010. My cousin is on a similar site which is for people of East Indian origin, and scrolling through it with her, I noticed there were a lot of non-Indian people, like white guys and African Americans, and Africans, and these people seemed wacky. I don't understand why you are on JDate if you're not interested in Judaism. It would just seem like you're fetishizing Jewish men. It seems like people on JDate are actually looking to date within their own religion/ethnicity.
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