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If you wanted romantic partnership, maybe you’d check out eHarmony. For fun and flings, try Tinder. If you wanted to narrow down the potential pool, there were Farmers Only and Christian Mingle, among other demographic-specific sites.
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And if you were married and wanted to have a clandestine affair, you could make an account on Ashley Madison. At least, that was the pitch. From its founding in 2002 until the summer of 2015, Ashley Madison, so-called for the two most popular girls names, billed itself as the premier destination for adulterers – no judgment, no risks, no strings attached other than the payments required to secure enough “credits” to talk to other users. The Toronto-based company, founded by Darren Morgenstern based on a statistic that 30% of people on existing dating sites were already married, promised a certain fantasy, particularly aimed at men: a list of women ready and willing to have an affair, a secret good time outside the bounds of one’s partnership, self-proclaimed extensive security measures to prevent torpedoing one’s domestic life. The company’s CEO, a Canadian businessman named Noel Biderman, appeared on news programs and daytime talkshows with his wife, touting the site as a way to resuscitate partnerships by covertly meeting one’s extramarital needs while boasting of his own monogamous marriage. The site’s tagline was simple and cheeky: “Life is short. Have an affair.” And it was popular – by 2015, the company had launched in 40 countries and claimed more than 37 million users. As recounted in Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies & Scandal, a new Netflix docuseries on the site’s rise and fall, nothing at Ashley Madison was quite so clean cut. “The whole story is really about fantasy and reality,” Toby Paton, the series’s director, said. “There’s the kind of fantasy that people are living within their marriages, if they’re not being honest with their partners. And then you’ve got this fantasy that the guys at Ashley Madison are very consciously creating on this site, where you can go on and you can meet someone else, and it can be entirely discreet, and you can have this affair that’s going to save your marriage.” That fantasy imploded in July 2015, when a still-anonymous hacker called “the Impact Team” threatened to expose the site’s cheating users and the “fraud” company that enabled them. After weeks of holding the company hostage, the hacker did release personal details for more than 30 million users – names, addresses, sexual preferences and fantasies, credit card information and messages, as well as Biderman’s personal emails, revealing that he repeatedly sought young escorts. (Biderman and Ruby Life, the owners of Ashley Madison, declined to participate in the series.) The company, it turns out, was not particularly cyber-secure and never deleted any user information, despite charging people extra money for a “full delete” of their profile. “The promise of security, anonymity and safety was just something we said. It wasn’t something we did,” says Evan Back, Biderman’s childhood friend and the company’s former vice-president of sales, in the first of three episodes. “It was like gambling.” The gamble proved devastating for millions of people, beyond public figures ensnared in the leak and subsequent media frenzy, including the reality TV star Josh Duggar, the Real Housewives Of New York star Kristen Taekman’s husband and, in an earlier scandal, the politician Eliot Spitzer. The series introduces a handful of former users and their loved ones left shellshocked by the revelations and willing to speak publicly.
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