Article about how to meet someone in real life:
| Dazed
If you’re itching to get off dating apps and find love IRL, here are our best tips for meeting a partner offline
So you want to meet someone in real life? If you’re itching to get off dating apps and find love IRL, here are our best tips for meeting a partner offline. Share Link copied
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February 5, 2025. When I first became single in 2023, I was told over and over again that I’d need to download a dating app if I wanted to find a date. “That’s just how it works now,” friends who’d been using the apps optimistically (but unsuccessfully) told me, much to my aching despair. By the time we broke up, I’d been with my ex — who I met in person — for seven years, and had zero interest in dipping my toes into the dystopian world of online dating. Seeing the wave of anti-dating app discourse and the constant deleting and redownloading of Hinge in my wider social circle and beyond, I promised myself I’d never download a dating app. After almost two years, my conviction is yet to sway and I’m still adamant that t he idée fixe of many modern daters – that the apps have destroyed our chances of finding a relationship while simultaneously being our only hope – is a trap. While it’s true that dating apps have shifted social norms and made it a little harder to meet people in the wild, we don’t have to participate in this culture. If there was ever a time to try and meet someone offline, it would be right now: with a boom in in-person dating events, dwindling dating app use, and the heavenly twinkle of a shift towards dating optimism , there’s hope for us yet. Here are our best tips on how to find someone IRL. GO OUTSIDE. If you want to meet someone in real life, you have to actually go out into the world. If you’re a little too comfortable in your own company, consider getting a new hobby or joining a club. But I really do believe you can find love pretty much anywhere – you’ll up your chances just by working in the office (or a café or workspace, if you’re a freelancer) for a couple of days per week, or even just going out on regular walks. I met the last guy I dated in the street, and you’d be surprised how much we had in common. According to creator Jessica Hobbs, who started her popular TikTok series ‘Trying to Find A Man IRL’ in 2023, if you’re looking to find love in the wild, it’s a good idea to go out in small groups or, even better, solo, because “it’s a lot less intimidating to approach someone who’s not with a large group of people”. She also recommends being strategic about where you spend your time. “Whether you’re going out for drinks with friends or taking yourself out for coffee or to the markets, think about where your ideal type will also be hanging out or where you want to meet them,” she says. GIVE OFF THE RIGHT SIGNALS. In this day and age, you have to make it as easy as possible for people to know that 1) you’re open to being approached and 2) you aren’t going to violently humiliate them if they try. My number one piece of advice for anyone hoping for an actual meet-cute is to ditch your headphones: I know it sounds scary, but seriously, how do you expect to be approached if any potential suitors have to wave their hands in front of your face to get your attention? Next, make sure you’re not staring at the floor. Keep your eyes up. “It’s pretty easy to tell if someone is interested just through eye contact alone,” Hobbs says. “Try to catch their eye a few times and then hold eye contact. If they hold it, that’s usually a green light!” If you want to make it even more obvious that you’re attracted to them, maybe throw in a little smile. “If they’re not making eye contact with you, though, they’re most likely not interested or off the market.” Essentially: put your phone away and engage with the people around you. Even if you don’t get approached, you’ll probably feel better and more grounded anyway. It’s pretty easy to tell if someone is interested just through eye contact alone. GET OK WITH REJECTION. If you’re feeling a spark with someone IRL, you’ll probably have to set your pride aside at some point and explicitly let them know you’re interested. Approaching someone can be nerve-wracking, but it’s important to remember that rejection is a part of life (whether you’re on an app or in the wild), so learn not to take it to heart. Conversational skills are key: make sure you have an idea of what you might say beyond “can I have your number?” and – vitally – know how to read the signs that someone doesn’t want to talk to you (looking around for their friends, avoiding eye contact, not asking you any questions, generally appearing uncomfortable, etc). If you’re afraid of rejection, try to reframe your approach as a kind gesture rather than a request. Even if someone isn’t interested, you’ll likely have made their day by approaching them. It’s the romantic equivalent of telling the cashier you like their nails. DON’T BE AFRAID TO SHIT WHERE YOU EAT. There is a tendency among our generation to shy away from mixing business with pleasure.
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