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how to be a single woman

Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2026 11:17 pm
by evasingle
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Article about how to be a single woman:
Here, experts give their tips on dating, sex and embracing single life to the full, whatever your age&#x3C,/p&#x3E,
Single women: how to be happy, dating or alone. T imes have never been better for single women. Long gone are the days when we needed a man to pay the bills and protect us, and our social status was dependent on our spouse.

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Despite the recent return of Bridget Jones, there are single people of all ages out there going about their business and enjoying themselves, and the word spinster has pretty much been outlawed. And yet, says Zoe Strimpel, who is organising a discussion on the topic at this year's Cambridge Festival of Ideas, being unattached and over 30 remains a source of anxiety for many. Concerns range from mass hysteria over biological clocks through to fear of coping alone in old age, via unhelpful stereotypes of cat ladies and cougars. Sometimes it's hard to know how to be a neutral single woman," says Strimpel. Joining her in discussion will be relationship counsellor Susan Quilliam, psychologist Cecilia d'Felice and authority on sexual matters, Rowan Pelling. Here is a preview of key tips from the event, entitled How to be a Single Woman in 2013, Whether You're 25 or 60, along with some thoughts from happily single women. Age 20-30. Don't feel obliged to regale your coupled-up friends with wild tales from dating's front line. There's an immense pressure to be showily "single and loving it", says Strimpel, whose book The Man Diet was published last year. "I have heard some distressing sexual things women have reluctantly done in the name of fun," she adds, "such as going home with unfriendly randoms only to be secretly appalled by their callous and unattractive behaviour, the porn pop ups carelessly left flashing on their laptop." People expect that their single friends will want to talk about men, whether it's about sex, or deconstructing their behaviour per se, "but the more you talk about something, the more entrenched in your mind it becomes," breeding unhealthy obsessions, says Strimpel. Engage in lofty activities. When you've been burning the candle in search of romance, only to find yourself exhausted and so very tired of bad sex, try staying in to read War and Peace instead. That's what Strimpel did, and it helped her gain some perspective. "I felt so smug," she says, "I couldn't believe that I had bothered with these losers when I was now too busy contemplating the battle of Borodino in 1812." 30-40. Don't feel like a failure, seize the opportunity to find yourself instead. "When you're in a relationship it's very hard to see yourself clearly because you're constantly in response to your partner," says d'Felice. Whereas when you're single, you can take stock, learn from your mistakes and work out what you want for the future. "Particularly for women who have been conditioned to be givers rather than takers," she adds, it's an opportunity to put ourselves first. "This is not an act of selfishness," she says. "It's a very important act of selfhood." Contentment is key. Tina Andrews, who has been single for a decade, points out that there are happy and unhappy people in and out of relationships. "For me it's about being content and, hopefully, that takes you on the right path. I see more pain and misery from women who think they should be in a relationship, who put themselves out there to be knocked back, and lose a sense of themselves. I think: you've wasted 10 years trying to find a man while I've enjoyed myself." Avoid women's magazines. Patti Burton, a charity manager who has been single for more than 20 years, cites her disinterest in glossy articles "aimed at people who are part of couples", as one of the reasons she has never felt any stigma about her relationship status. 40-50. Don't be afraid of 40. Andrews felt in the run-up that her options were falling away, but then realised: "I actually don't care. I don't have the urge to have a family, and I don't see 40 as the end of that anyway. As we grow up, our expectations of certain ages change. It's the Friends generation turning into the Sex and the City generation, moving into the Golden Girls. Life continues at all these ages." Internet dating has brought new opportunities for single women. Photograph: Brian Jackson/Alamy. Give thanks that you're among the last generations who didn't learn about sex from internet porn. "You know sex is a fun, amateur sport, and that's a great blessing," says Pelling. Single mums can have fun, too.













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