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7 Red Flags In A New Relationship That Are Persistent Signs It’s Not Going To Work Out. A new relationship is exciting and intoxicating. It’s easy to put on rose-colored glasses and see your new partner as perfect when all the feel-good chemicals are flowing. Don’t let your desire for this relationship to work out obscure your common sense. Ignoring red flags in a new relationship will ultimately lead you to frustration and likely Heartbreak Hotel. There are no guarantees in love. Having a stringent deal-breaker list only keeps you from risking your heart. The best-case scenario is to keep an eye out for issues that indicate this new relationship is headed in the wrong direction while tucking those rose-colored glasses into a drawer for use later on if things do work out. 7 Red Flags In A New Relationship That Are Persistent Signs It’s Not Going To Work Out. Feeling Insecure And Anxious After Spending Time Together. The most important exercise to evaluate a new romantic partner is by paying attention to your feelings when you immediately part. When your date departs are you walking on a cloud? Or does your inner critic kick into overdrive, causing you to feel anxious as if you didn’t do anything right? Feeling anxious or insecure that you may have blown the relationship or tearing yourself up thinking you’ve done something wrong is a red flag in a new relationship that must be examined. If your feelings are out of character, for example, you consistently feel insecure and unsure of yourself even though you are usually a confident person is a severe red flag. This new relationship is doomed if you regularly criticize yourself, or if you find that you are twisting into a pretzel in order to please them. A healthy relationship inspires you to feel good about yourself and your life. This “high” is a natural component of a new relationship. It is the fuel that keeps your relationship growing and evolving so be sure you don’t try to go without it no matter how hot they are – it won’t last. Disagreements Are Regularly Deadlocked. Conflict will arise in every relationship. You won’t agree 100% of the time with anyone. It’s not a red flag in a new relationship to have some bumps along the way. This is all part of figuring out if this new relationship has legs, and if you can repair and reconnect after a disagreement. However, if your conflicts regularly blow up into fights, it’s likely that the relationship won’t last and is not ideal for you. You can’t resolve an argument by ignoring it and hoping it will just go away or by using sex to make up in an attempt to move on without cleaning it up. Your disagreements will become chronic and neither of you will feel safe enough to create emotional intimacy. If you don’t speak up about the issues between the two of you, they will become a wall between your hearts that pushes you apart. In a healthy relationship, both people take responsibility for their triggers and wounds. By doing so they can create a strong bond by reuniting and reaffirming your love for one another. Avoiding conflict and hoping it will magically disappear is never the answer. A major red flag in a new relationship is when one person cannot take responsibility for their half of a disagreement. Be sure that you are not allowing fights to fester or regularly fall into a stalemate. The Past Gets In The Way Of The Present. Everyone experiences heartbreak. Ideally, you take time to heal from it and move forward with renewed hope. However, it is a red flag in a new relationship if one or both of you is still stuck on the past or feeling bitter and angry about an ex. If your partner is constantly complaining about their ex, it could be a red flag in a new relationship. Maybe you are the one stuck in the past and can’t let go of anger and resentment toward your ex. It may be appropriate to get professional help to release those feelings. If your heart is not open and ready to risk again, then it will be difficult for love to grow between the two of you. Rebound relationships are a huge red flag to look out for. Don’t settle for someone who is stuck licking their wounds. Ideally do the work of healing your heart before you begin to date again so your heart is available to let love in and find an ideal match. You Feel Obsessed And Overwhelmed. Infatuation is intoxicating and all new relationships have the chemical high of “falling” in love. It is a red flag in a new relationship if you’re feeling obsessive and consumed with the relationship. Another red flag to look out for is if your partner wants to move the relationship forward really quickly before you really know each other. If you can’t stop thinking about your partner and can’t focus on other things in your life, it is a sign there is an unhealthy dynamic between you. This is also true if your partner is obsessing about you and wanting to merge your lives together as soon as possible. A healthy relationship feels grounding and inspiring at the same time like you have roots and wings. It’s okay to take things slowly and discover more about each other over time. If you two are an ideal match, you’ll have the rest of your lives together, so there is no need to rush in. Boundaries Are Missing From The Relationship. Respectful love has a boundary. This means that you can’t treat your partner however you like just because you’re in a bad mood. Also, it’s unacceptable for your partner to blame you and make you the scapegoat of the relationship.
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