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Learning to let go and move through heartbreak... Finding peace in heartbreak: How to love and let go gracefully. Loving someone that isn’t or can’t be part of your life has to be one of the hardest lessons out there to learn, whether it was a choice you made or not.
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There’s no getting around it, there’s no quick fix to finding peace in the process and believe me, avoidance and denial won’t be a long-term solution, more of a quick fix with consequences. Our biggest challenge in heartbreak is to, often with help and support, sit in difficult feelings that arise. Our challenge is to dig deep and to listen to our emotions, to our pain and to let them communicate with us. To find our way through, we must let the pain show us the direction for healing and we must learn how to give and love ourselves more in the areas that are exposed. So first and foremost, if you’re going through the motions of grief like I am, I am sending you so much love. If feelings are particularly difficult for you to navigate right now, read my 11 reasons you should never be embarrassed about going to counselling here. After my Lessons I learnt about love from heartbreak blog post, I got lots of messages from you guys saying how helpful my honesty was and so I figured I’d write a little more. I’m going to speak from the heart in this one, right from the core of my heartbreak and so I guess, I hope there’s some more light in here for you. At least writing it, for me, is more healing in itself. How to love someone and let go gracefully. Although I am sat here in the middle of the French Alps, living in my dream van conversion and pursuing a life in the great outdoors, my heart is still very much in the healing process. As I sit down to write this post, I have tears running down my face because the pain and heartbreak of my recent relationship ending are still very much alive within me, albeit showing their faces at much larger intervals than two months ago. Whilst I haven’t worked through the entirety of the pain I felt through my last relationship, I’ve come an incredible way. Loving someone and loving their presence are different things entirely. The biggest lesson I have learnt so far through the heartbreak I have experienced is that we can love someone and still not desire their presence in our life. It’s a painful lesson to learn because naturally when we love and care for someone, we want to pull them close. But when loving someone continually requires you to be less of yourself to keep the peace and yet you choose to stay, you must take a minute to think about what’s really keeping you there. I think this is the first step of letting go gracefully. Being honest with yourself about safe you felt in your relationship and how much of yourself you are holding back and compromising for the other. If you’ve never meditated before, check out my FREE complete guide to meditation to learn how to stay present. If you’re craving love from someone who isn’t showing up for you, there’s a part of you waiting to be met and healed. This was certainly the case for me. I knew the relationship wasn’t healthy but I had attachments that had me making all sorts of excuses to stay. On a deeper level, I had wounds that kept me there and only by starting my healing journey have I been able to release myself from them. If you’re in a relationship that you know isn’t healthy, ask yourself this… What is keeping me in a relationship that doesn’t serve me? What’s holding me back from fulfilling my true potential? What would happen if I let them go? Ultimately, we don’t need an ‘other’ to complete us. The voice that tells you you do, is an unmet wound speaking out to you and waiting to be healed. Okay so I loved him but it was clear that we were on different journeys and our next chapter was to be spent apart. It was a mutual decision that was painful but no doubt the right one for each of us.